I saw a lovely commercial on TV the other day, it had a family singing in the van and actually enjoying each others company. The kids were happy the mom relaxed and the dad actually smiling. This is not my family.
We went on a little road trip a couple of weeks ago. Getting everyone packed was a challenge. Getting them in the truck to leave a nightmare. We finally get loaded up and out of town and I hear the following conversation from the back seat
Loulee: IS TOO!!!
Clown Boy: Is not!!!!
Loulee: yes it is!!!
Clown Boy: NO! You do not know what you are talking about.
Loulee!: Do too I am telling mom!
Loulee: MOM!!! Tell clown boy it is too a fart even if it does not make noise!!!
We are not the family singing in the van.. I also realized on this trip that my children seem to suffer from a medical condition that required them to stop to go to the restroom every 30 feet or so. My elderly chihuahuas do not have to go that much…
I realize more and more how we are not that family in the van the ones that show up at church perfectly starched and well dressed.. Clown boy will often go to church in mismatched socks. Often they are not even his socks. Sometimes one is his dads and the other his sisters. My kids often look like we do not even own an iron, we do, we just do not use it often. Loulee has sensory issues and is a hair nightmare… yes we own a brush too… but we don’t use that often either…
Meal time is also something that I find lacking. The Family in the van surely has perfect meals and enjoys them. Yes I cook no one is going to starve at least. But it is never the pleasant experience that a family meal is supposed to be. We have conversations like this one.
Clown Boy: I have a hypothesis
Clown Boy: Its one that can be tested
Big Kid: Good Hypothesis are supposed to be able to be tested.
Clown Boy: want to know what it is?
Clown Boy: I am going to test it.. All I need is 200 chihuahuas…
Before I had kids and even for a short time after I had an idea of what my life would be like. This is not the life I imagined. I want peace I want pleasant things. I want normal and I want a clean kitchen. I some how missed that boat.
I have come to accept my life and all that is in it. I could wish for more. I however choose to embrace the crazy mess. My kids are not perfect. But they are real. They have issues, but so does everyone else. To quote Bro. Tenney: “I got issues You got issues. All God’s children got issues. If you have no issues, then that is your issue.”
This past Sunday I watched in amazement and awe as my Sissybrat lead worship in children’s church. My kids love Jesus and want to share his love with others. That is all I can ask for out of them. Messy rooms, broken dishes, all that other stuff will be fine. My most important job is to teach them to love Jesus enough to be a witness for him. We may not be the perfect family but we will be the first ones in line to give a kid a ride to church. We will be the first to help with clean up after a church function. And we will be the first to stop drop and pray if you have a serious need.
I still long for order and peace but I am so thankful for the disorder that is my family.
“But He said to me, My grace (My favor and loving-kindness and mercy) is enough for you [sufficient against any danger and enables you to bear the trouble manfully]; for My strength and power are made perfect (fulfilled and completed) and show themselves most effective in [your] weakness. Therefore, I will all the more gladly glory in my weaknesses and infirmities, that the strength and power of Christ (the Messiah) may rest (yes, may pitch a tent over and dwell) upon me!”
2 Corinthians 12:9 AMP