(Note: if you don’t recognize, this is written in a form similar to the book “The Screwtape Letters” by CS Lewis)
My Dear Globdrop,
As is apparent from your last letter, your man began attending an “evangelical” church. Although things seemed to have turned for the worse, I can remedy your incompetence yet.
Although we would normally do whatever it takes to keep your man from such a regiment, I discovered, after checking the registry, that this church is harmless. In fact, it is to our advantage that he attends for now. As a junior tempter, you’re undoubtedly confused. Let me explain.
You see, although the “truth” visits this tiny army periodically, we have successfully removed from it that horrible “beauty” that so often allures the rodents to the Enemy. This extraction, as we shall soon observe, has rendered them utterly ineffective. Although you brace yourself when you hear the loud cannon fire of orthodoxy, our gates stand unharmed.
Behold the brilliance.
See the pack of rats huddled together — there your man sits. They just sang songs and now gather to hear the pastor preach — Oh, how we love his sermons! You fuss because his sermons “mention the Enemy with regularity,” and, every so often, he, “sticks to the text.” But, my dear nephew, he is safe. He is one of the few pastors we want to stick to the text.
Observe: Do you notice the fidgeting feet, the blank stares, the bobbing of heads floating just above wakefulness? This pastor is a delicious bore. From week to week, only the strong survive his dialogues to the very end. His preaching has no salt, no gravity, no gladness. He gives light without heat. Silhouettes without color. Clichés without content. He starves their souls with the truth, and no one can question it because, as we keep reminding them, he does not preach heresy.